Have you never really noticed

That your new boyfriend is gay?

We are all a bit embarrassed

And someone had to say

I’m sure he likes your friendship

But your goolies are all wrong

To all of us it’s really clear

That you’re a downright naive nong

Has he ever said he loves you, dear?

And tried touching you ‘that way’?

Your bits, you know, would be so ick

For someone so obviously gay

Stop showing us your lovely man

Sweetie, it’s not what you think

His reluctance isn’t just shyness

He will NEVER want to dink!