Have you never really noticed
That your new boyfriend is gay?
We are all a bit embarrassed
And someone had to say
I’m sure he likes your friendship
But your goolies are all wrong
To all of us it’s really clear
That you’re a downright naive nong
Has he ever said he loves you, dear?
And tried touching you ‘that way’?
Your bits, you know, would be so ick
For someone so obviously gay
Stop showing us your lovely man
Sweetie, it’s not what you think
His reluctance isn’t just shyness
He will NEVER want to dink!