Agony Ent

When is it ok to talk about your kids to friends without kids? – Agony Ent

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Ask Moylen Green, your agony Ent, for the latest hints and tips on ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF.

Rod M, sometimes manager and never architect, has asked me the following:

“When is it ok to talk about your kids to friends without kids?”

Having a child triggers a well known mechanism known as The Baby Alien Switch. When someone has a child, their brain and persona is removed (the method of removal has yet to be studied) and replaced with an alien that inhabits their body. The alien seems to be them – it has their body, after all, but all it does is think and talk about their offspring.

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When is it ok to talk about your kids to friends without kids? – Agony Ent

“Should people who stop in the thinnest section of the path blocking others from getting through be forced into How to Walk classes for Eternity?” – Agony Ent Answers

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Ask Moylen Green, your agony Ent, for the latest hints and tips on ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF.

Andrew B, Sometimes Guitarist and always Faith No More Fanboi, asks me the following:

“People who inevitably stop in the thinnest section of a path blocking others from getting through. Should they be forced into “how to walk” classes for eternity?”

Well Andrew, the question answers itself – it’s an irrelevant question. These people know HOW to walk, they have just chosen to no longer do so. Perhaps they are old, or  feeling poorly. Did you consider it might be a day of an Asthma Storm and they didn’t have their Ventolin on them? You should be a little more considerate before jumping in to judge the ability of walkers.

Stopping is an important part of starting.  So they do not need to go to How to Walk classes as they clearly understand How to Walk as well as How to Stop.

However…

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“Should people who stop in the thinnest section of the path blocking others from getting through be forced into How to Walk classes for Eternity?” – Agony Ent Answers

Why are the Emu and the Kangaroo on the Australian coat of Arms? – Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

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 (First published on blogspot 2009, Things You Should Know.)
It’s often believed that the reason why the kangaroo and the emu are on the Australian coat of arms is because these are both animals that never walk backwards. And Australia will only go forwards.
This is of course rubbish. The real story, like most history, is much more interesting as you will discover if you keep reading.
Why are the Emu and the Kangaroo on the Australian coat of Arms? – Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

Why the Panda is Nearly Extinct – Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

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 (First published on blogspot 2009, Things You Should Know.)

The Panda used to rule in Japan as Emperor for thousands of years after the first Panda Emperor, Emmanuel Higgins I, wrested power from the Zing Dynasty ruler Odo IV by tricking his guards into attending a cockfight, and creeping in and strangling him while he slept.

The stranglehold the Pandas had over all of Asia is well documented and i won’t go into it here, you need to look up wikipedia for that. It’s all there, rather tediously as we all know pedants rule wikipedia.

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Why the Panda is Nearly Extinct – Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

Why didn’t David Bowie get older? Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

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(Originally published December 2009 on Things You Should Know blog, lets keep this as a tribute).
About 1000 years ago, an alien race decided to study humanity from orbit. The race was called the Eiwobdivadians. They watched, bemused for a long time from the safety of their craft, after a few hundred years they decided they knew enough about humanity and sent a number of representatives down to act as humans. This explains Mary Queen of Scots, who was not human at all in her ‘Scotland Years’, she was replaced by an Eiwobdivadian. Knowing this can lead to a deeper understanding as to what happened to the Royal house of Stuart – not entirely human and a complete lack of understanding the human condition led to civil war and tragedy for the next 100 or so years in England.

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Why didn’t David Bowie get older? Questions answered by Moylen Green, Agony Ent

Why are Cicadas so loud? – Moylen Green, Agony Ent, answers your questions.

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(Originally published March 2015 on Things You Should Know on Blogspot)
It has been assumed for many years that the annual screeching of the cicada is because they are ‘insects’ and they are ‘looking for a mate’.
It was only in 2013 that a post graduate biology student was collecting data for summer holidays and discovered the awful truth.Cicadas are actually the earth’s way of secreting unwanted earth blood that has turned into something harmful to the earth.

Why are Cicadas so loud? – Moylen Green, Agony Ent, answers your questions.

Why is the sky blue? – Questions answered

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Originally posted in an old blog of mine in 2009 on blogspot, “Things you really should know”. I would shut down that blog except that I have forgotten what email address and password I set it up in and I have no access other than to add posts. Oops.  So I’m republishing everything here.

The most commonly understood reason for why the sky is blue is some pseudo science techno babble about ‘water droplets’ and ‘dust’ and ‘sunlight’. Hah. Total ass, men and women of science have SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN that water is heavier than air. If water wasn’t heavier than air, every time we poured a glass of water from the tap, the water would rise up to the ceiling and we’d have to try and slap it into our mouths to have a drink. I don’t understand how such foolish myths are spread, it’s an embarrassment to te human race that they believe any old rubbish.

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Why is the sky blue? – Questions answered