Why is the sky blue? – Questions answered

Originally posted in an old blog of mine in 2009 on blogspot, “Things you really should know”. I would shut down that blog except that I have forgotten what email address and password I set it up in and I have no access other than to add posts. Oops.  So I’m republishing everything here.

The most commonly understood reason for why the sky is blue is some pseudo science techno babble about ‘water droplets’ and ‘dust’ and ‘sunlight’. Hah. Total ass, men and women of science have SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN that water is heavier than air. If water wasn’t heavier than air, every time we poured a glass of water from the tap, the water would rise up to the ceiling and we’d have to try and slap it into our mouths to have a drink. I don’t understand how such foolish myths are spread, it’s an embarrassment to te human race that they believe any old rubbish.

The true explanation is this: The Queen of Hearts put it in her will that they sky was to be painted blue each morning. When she died of a tragic gutter cleaning accident, her will was read to much consternation. The King of Hearts was in particular most put-out that his only dedication was her set of silver plated sporks.

Upon the reading of the ‘sky legacy’, a great recruitment drive took place to gather workers who could work around the globe staying just ahead of the sunlight, to coat the sky in thin blue paint. Most of the queen’s ex-staff were dedicated to painting the roses red, and so they were conscripted as the first wave of sky painters. The roses stayed white and the sky was painted blue instead.

You can see when they run out of blue paint, as this is when the sky reverts back to white or grey (grey when it’s dirty. Usually the dirty sky immediately is washed by the sky gnomes -this is what pseudo scientists refer to as ‘rain’). They don’t often run out of blue paint in Australia. This is the true cause of Drought, not some Spanish boy in the ocean (though he is the cause of most tsunamis).

In the early days of the sky painting, there were a lot of industrial accidents due to falling and accidental paint drownings. There was that famous week in 1863 where the workers took industrial action to try and ensure their safety, and painted the sky green instead. This coincided with the highest week of aircraft accidents ever, as the pilots mistook air for ground and vice versa and many of them ploughed into fields, thinking they were flying at the correct altitude. In the olden days the altimeters were not sophisticated as they are now, they were made of little jars full of bees that the co pilots had to shake every now and then. So it’s obvious why the bees were misled by the green!

Ever since then, though, anyone involved in industrial actions has been taken out and shot, so the industrial action has ceased, and the sky has been blue every day ever since.

Recruitment into the sky painters guild remains steady! They don’t offer accidental death cover with their insurance any more though.

So there you are. Please feel free to ask me more questions you want answered.

 

 

Why is the sky blue? – Questions answered

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