Andy the Ant -a short story from 2005

In the context of “I am going through my folder marked ‘stories’ and finding short stories I have written that are not dreadful, but by no means are they great, and publishing them because why not”- I give you this one from 2005. I do not remember writing this at all.

Andy the Ant

Andy the Ant was very much liked by his friends who lived in The Cupboard, but they all agreed that he was a little odd.

“I’m not odd!” he argued with Zen the Butterfly, while sticking his shoes to his feet with a bit of adhesive tape..  “This is perfectly normal. I just broke my shoelaces, and my shoes keep falling off.”

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Andy the Ant -a short story from 2005

Colin the Weevil -a short story

I wrote a lot of stories about Colin the Weevil, including a novella, which I may actually tidy up and publish. I have illustrated some of the stories I’ve written – occurs to me I’ve never published any of it. Huh. Must get on that.

This was the story that started it. Again, 1999 or so. Based on Colin and Andy, who I clearly was hanging out a lot with back then.

Colin the Weevil

Colin was a weevil who lived in the Flour Barrel in the Kitchen Cupboard.

He was obsessed with flour.

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Colin the Weevil -a short story

Arthur Berth the After Birth – a short story

AAAAAnd I’m gonna put this behind a cut, as it’s gross.


I remember writing this (1999?) and I remember being really happy with it. Now I share it with the internet, perhaps foolishly.

Arthur Berth the After Birth

Arthur Berth came from very humble beginnings. Mr and Mrs Berth worked in a refuse reclamation facility in Notting Hill.

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Arthur Berth the After Birth – a short story

Murry the Puddle – a short story from 1999

Another Angus Oblong style short surreal story. Murry was my friend’s nickname and I have no idea about the rest of the context.

Murry the Puddle

Murry was a small, dark puddle.

It would sit in gutters all day and splash you as you walked past it.

It listened to boy bands.

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Murry the Puddle – a short story from 1999

Kellie the Crypt Ghost – a short story

I am often baffled by things I have written in my past. This would have been written around 1999 based on some other context that came with the print out.  I would have written this directly after having just read Creepy Susie and 13 other tales for Troubled Children, by Angus Oblong. It’s pretty much in that style. I  have quite a few of these.

I actually have bought art from Angus Oblong, I have a pair of matching portraits that I have over my dresser in my room, and I bought a cat painting, actually for Kellie.. It’s surreal and fun.

Kellie the crypt-ghost.

Kellie died a very unpleasant death.

It made her cross.

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Kellie the Crypt Ghost – a short story

Yearly Horoscope : Leo

Leos get a very roar deal from life, so I’ve heard. Being forced to eat grubby wildebeast and live in packs where the head dude yells at and excludes all the other dudes and all the women are like, whatever.

Wait, that’s Lions. I often forget what the difference is between the character in the symbol and the actual reality of what a horoscope is, that is of course,  a made-up description based on a nonsensical set of values with arbitrary values and meanings, that some people really get into.

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Yearly Horoscope : Leo