At least they didn’t breed. It would have been worse to co-parent.

*

The stupidest thing that I ever did do
Was to try and to have a baby with you
If we had succeeded, with you I’d be stuck
With that face, no conversation, and boring ass fucks

I’d have worked in jobs so dull I could scream
To keep you in all that cake and ice cream
I know this is what you’d have done if we’d bred
You were doing it anyway, you useless lump of lead

Imagine a child half genetically yours
I’d have been lucky if it was born with fingers, not paws
You’re a throwback to another epoch entire
Where fidelity and trust are things not required

More likely, you’d dump me and run off with the child
And demand all my money for support while you defiled
Your body with those guys barely out of their teens
As they sucked at your breast (you DO like them unweaned)

Imagine having to deal with your fatuous face
Arranging schools, holidays, handing you all my pays
For the next 18 years I’d support your fat ass
While you raised our kid to be like you with totally no class

These days I wake up thankful in the deep of the night
And I’m sickened in terror and sweating in fright
For the near miss that we could have had an innocent babe
And I’d have to deal with you till the end of my days

A near miss though we tried so hard at the time
Those eggs of yours and my sperm did not want to combine
Your old barren womb resisted me week after week
And now there there is no reason for us two to speak