Written on behalf of someone who is obsessed

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I deserve a little baby

I want one right now

To hold tight against me

You won’t regret it, I vow

I deserve what I crave for

My life otherwise is shit

All my dream and my hopes

Will be fulfilled by it

Sure I mooch off my partners

I rarely have worked

But the government pays for babies

That’s one of the perks

I deserve to be paid

To stay home and relax

And take care of a baby

Where I can be slack

I work with kids you see

So I know what to do

I’m not a dumb amateur

I know all about the poo

My life won’t change much

I’ll still go out to things

someone can babysit for me

when I give them a ring

If it doesn’t sleep all night

It will just have to cope

My comfort is more important

I don’t intend to mope

It’s time to get fertile

My eggs mostly gone it’s true

I’ve wasted time on waiting

For a good man, so you’ll do!