Logic (a poem)

All I can say is, don’t get into an argument with someone who is both a total git and a philosophy major. It will end in your own tears of frustration.

*

If only you could in anyway be
Even half awesome as me
Taking to me is a such a pleasure
You’ll want to do it at your leisure
Check out the fantab things I write
If you don’t agree, I’ll know it’s spite
You may laugh – but that I ignore
I know what you want is more
It all slides right off my back
You see, there’s nothing I lack
I’m great at logic, that is true
And no, I don’t argue as though I’m two
If people leave rooms to avoid me
It’s my needle-like wit they flee
All this logic and arguing portends
To me having so many great friends
Their respect for me is profound
My detractors daren’t utter a sound
When I launch in with my pomposity
And I orate, everyone just agrees!
I’m the only one with any plan with an end
To e-loginate to all my friends
Didn’t hear that thing you said…
Never mind – I’m over your head
You’ve been trying to bamboozle me
So into your ear I place this flea
My logic to you makes no sense?
And you seem to think I should provide defense?
Fuck you, I’ll get you kicked out
Of this group because I’ve got the clout
Don’t take that tone with me, now
Or you’ll figure out that I know how
To manipulate people I’m really good
At telling mean stories, those are to me food
I’ll start rumours that you’re an abuser
And an emotional irrational dickhead user
So shut up and stop arguing
Or out of this room in a fit I will fling

Logic (a poem)

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