Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

As a Gemini you tend to spend your entire life seeing things in double. This can either mean you’re always a bit drunk, or perhaps you have an astigmatism in your eyes. If it’s the first you should consider drinking less, perhaps go onto some other drugs. Try Nitrous Oxide, for example (say NO2 to the hard drugs!). If it’s the second, I can recommend a good Optometrist who will prescribe you glasses.

Your year in advance will have a lot of double problems coming up – If you have one car accident, you will have another. If a stray cat gives birth to kittens in the back of your ute in a factory car park, then this will happen again. If your spouse leaves you, then if you re-marry in the same year, your NEXT spouse will leave you. There is no way around itit, i’m sorry but your starsign is Gemini. You can’t opt out of this you know. You’re in it for the long haul.

Happily though things that are really good will happen twice too! If you are, say, an Olympic swimming champion, you will win TWO races this year! If you find an antique shop that sells dictophones and you buy one thinking “this is pretty cool” then you will buy TWO! Making you TWICE AS COOL!

HOW COOL IS THAT.

 

Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

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