Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

As a Gemini you tend to spend your entire life seeing things in double. This can either mean you’re always a bit drunk, or perhaps you have an astigmatism in your eyes. If it’s the first you should consider drinking less, perhaps go onto some other drugs. Try Nitrous Oxide, for example (say NO2 to the hard drugs!). If it’s the second, I can recommend a good Optometrist who will prescribe you glasses.

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Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

Yearly horoscope – Aries

Congratulations! Not only are you born under the sign that is impossible to spell from memory, you’re also represented by a ram. I bet that made you popular in the school yard.
I think the Chinese have better zodiac symbols. At least some of them, they also have a goat/sheep.  I didn’t think that statement through, did I. I wonder if there is goat crossover between the astrological and the Chinese Zodiac? I guess if a Chinese sheep and an astrology sheep combined, it would be a one-month-every-twelve-years thing. That would surely be super special, right?

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Yearly horoscope – Aries