Yearly Horoscope – Sagittarius

So it’s half a dude, holding a projectile weapon, with the rest of him a horse. Which seems really odd to me, because that’s like a mounted Calvary. You should have your archers STATIONARY as they have the ability to PROJECT their weapons at the enemy, and then your CALVARY should charge in and ruin everyone by stomping on them. The weapon of the Sagittarius should be a pike, or a hammer, or something that it can gallop up to someone and smash them with and gallop off again.  It’s pointless combining the too. Not good design at all.

I dunno. Olden-days people made a lot of utter shit up, didn’t they.

Oooh predictions. Um, you’ll drop your bow and arrow if you have to go into battle but you will be able to give a lift to King Richard III and that might mean that Bosworth ends very differently.

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Yearly Horoscope – Sagittarius

Yearly Horoscope – Capricorn

Hah! Bet you didn’t expect this to be second last. Capricorns are often last and they are ok with that because it’s like when you have a plate full of dinner and you save the best mouthful for the end.

Like, the pork cracking (assuming it’s been cooked it well and it’s not chewy, that’s the worst, isn’t it?). Or, say, on a salad, if you have a chunk of feta cheese that you just wait and wait for and whammo, it’s last, and it almost makes up from the chore of having to eat boring salad!

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Yearly Horoscope – Capricorn

Yearly Horoscope – Scorpio

Scorpios look really good in leather face mask things. No, wait, that’s Scorpius, from Farscape. Have you seen Farscape? What a great show.

Scorpios are named for chitinous insects that snap at and bite you. I don’t know why if they have a star sign called Scorpio they don’t have one called Mosquito. That would be a great astrology sign to predict for. “You will continue to have no friends and be annoying and whiny well into the next year. And Beyond!”

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Yearly Horoscope – Scorpio