There is a business near me whose business name is WILSONSELFSTORAGE – that is how the signage is written.
I wrote them this letter. They have yet to respond.
Dear Wilson’s Elf Storage,
My associates and I are enquiring about rates for the following elves that we would like to store;
At this stage we have no need of Rivendell storage. Continue reading “WILSONSELFSTORAGE – How much does it cost to store an Elf?”
Ahhh. Brenden the Broflake who I didn’t even argue with on the internet. I just didn’t. He came in swinging, howling, being hurt. My not arguing was thus invalidating him in whatever position it was he was upholding (no one from that conversation actually knows). I didn’t argue. I was obtuse. I didn’t respond to him at all. I did wow dog meme his nonsense.
Here are his very own words about me – as I cast them back to him in prose. I hope you appreciate it more than he did. There was a deeply lyrical quality to his insults and the things he made up. I am just sad he deleted his really good stuff before I got it copied…. Very prose. Such Sook. Wow.
Also, he kept threatening to flounce off, and yet did not. I was much dissapoint.
I used to take Ritalin regularly after my ADHD diagnosis.
I kept it in my purse.
One day, I thought, “Oh, I must take my Ritalin.”
I opened my purse, forgot what I was doing, took out a $2 coin, put it in my mouth…. Oops. I didn’t mean to do that.
I then took the coin from my mouth, wiped it off, put it back in my bag, and forgot to take my Ritalin.
All a very good example of ADD brain in action, really.
Today I looked down and noticed I had a post it note stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I pulled it off and read it.
It said CHOC FOR RUSSELL. I pondered on the significance of this note.
Continue reading “Choc for Russell – musings on working life”
In 2001 i was working for a company that came down hard with a new WET WASTE policy. Someone got a notice telling them off for putting something damp in their bin.
What i did after they got this first notice, was write up the one below and pop it on their desk.
I also rewrote the policy in detail and posted it around the office. It was in the same font as the Original. It caused both confusion and giggles.
I got into trouble for this but I didn’t give a shit then and i only just found the documents now so I had a laugh.
The Cyclops picked up a magazine from the pile on the coffee table and opened it. The edges of the pages were creased with the imprints of hundreds of other people’s fingers.
He turned page after page, absorbing the details slowly, carefully. Famous faces, dieting, having children, love nests, divorces, mug shots.
He recalled once, being taken to visit a cousin, who lived a day’s ride from Mt Etna, he’d listened to his relatives talking about their diets, having children, love nests, divorces. Wives being turned into spiders, Gods turning into swans and bulls.
I sold a car a few months ago, I got an email from someone clearly trying to rip me off, it was bodgey as could be. I’d giving the final price and tried to ask about the muddle headed arrangements of ‘I will send a representative and pay you by direct credit some money’ stuff. Basically I worked out it was a scam to make me think someone really wanted my car and that the arrangement would involve them stealing my car. I looked it up online. Once I worked that out, after lots of converstaion that made no sense, I decided to dick with them.
This is the text of how the conversation went after this.
The ‘purchaser’ was Valentina who ignored everything I said about the fact I had rego and roadworthy on the car, and kept demanding to know about the car. And assuring me it didn’t matter that I didn’t have a roadworthy, and had ignored my ‘price’ about three times. Valentina wanted to know everything about my car and get all the photos. This mind you was a crappy Toyota Starlet. I was asking around $2500, the correct price for a 90s car of that ilk, when I was selling it.
Could this conversation ever really happen?
I had some big things happen to me and was thinking a lot when I wrote this.
You ultimately can only carry your own burden, along your own path
Sometimes you can accept someone elses but if you do it for more than a little while
They will keep adding load to you and you will be dealing with theirs not your own
And both of yours increase at the same rate. They more they palm off to you the harder it gets for them when they have to accept theirs back again Continue reading “Burden – musings on a life that intersects mine”
Prose written when I was having a cranky moment about a truly awful person.Why does the best prose happen when I’m cross?
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I’ve never seen such skin before
The word to describe it is crenelation
In cases like your people say ‘nice personality’
Sadly for you this just isn’t the case Continue reading “Crenelation – prose”
Moylen Green - writings 