The Stanleigh Rose – a romance novel

A short break from poetry to announce that after 23 years of procrastination, editing, ignoring, and moments of frantic work, I have self-published the first manuscript I ever ‘completed’.  “The Stanleigh Rose”. You can get it here as an ebook.

What a journey.

Continue reading “The Stanleigh Rose – a romance novel”

The Stanleigh Rose – a romance novel

The Good Plates – a poem

(A tribute to someone who I no longer have to give a shit about)

The Good Plates

You own a “good” dinner set that you can’t allow yourself to use

You excuse and are obtuse as to why not, you are excessive

In the face of opposition.

Your position is that your mission is to keep it nice,

unbroken, unsullied, unused and so another set is purchased;

The second best set.

And these ones you allow to get wet, but you still expect reverence.

They’re delicate but not untouchable and still quite valuable

You calculate, and hesitate to even place these before

those undeserving and unnerving, who you don’t let yourself respect

Mostly they get to eat off the the third-best set.

The Good Plates – a poem

Yearly Horoscope – Virgo

Virgos are repressed and exacting. Sort of like Incels. Are all Incels Virgos? I’d ask them but I assume they’d just sneer and call me a Chad or a Stacey or possibly a normie. If you’re on this page and reading this, it should be quite obvious that I’m not a normie. But perhaps I don’t understand the terminology well enough.

Continue reading “Yearly Horoscope – Virgo”

Yearly Horoscope – Virgo

Yearly Horoscope – Cancer

Cancers are crabs and so they are usually crabby. You can tell someone who is crabby by how they respond to normal everyday pleasantries.

For example, if you ask a Pisces if you can have one of their bits of uneaten bacon, they may reply, “It’s not unwanted, I’m saving it to last. I like bacon.” See how easy that was. Breakfast continues in peace, there is no loss of friendship. Everyone knows where they stand.

But if you ask a Cancerian the same question they are more likely to respond “Go away, you! This is my bacon! Get your own!”  And then they will shun you for two days and refer to you under their breath as a bacon thief. EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY TAKE THEIR BACON!

Cancers, you need to consider your life choices, and understand why you have no friends.

Yearly Horoscope – Cancer

Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

As a Gemini you tend to spend your entire life seeing things in double. This can either mean you’re always a bit drunk, or perhaps you have an astigmatism in your eyes. If it’s the first you should consider drinking less, perhaps go onto some other drugs. Try Nitrous Oxide, for example (say NO2 to the hard drugs!). If it’s the second, I can recommend a good Optometrist who will prescribe you glasses.

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Yearly Horoscope – Gemini

Yearly Horoscope – Taurus

I grew up with a brother who was assigned Taurus at birth and so I am wary of you Taurus types. I know what you are like and I’m right to look askance at you all.

You:

  • Cheat at monopoly because you’re the race car and the race car gets to drive past ‘go to jail’ and also drives past the streets that your siblings own so you don’t have to pay rent
  • Cheat at chess by telling me the white set have more moves and can do more and you always play the white set so your siblings always lose. Ok now I think about it this is totally woke and you Taurans clearly have a very real sense of White Privilege and were teaching your siblings a lesson that white people have it way better for no reason at all.
  • Hit your siblings all the time  and rip their jigsaws in half
  • Write things like ‘Moylen was here’ on the wall in texta and then say your sibling has done it and get angry when parents don’t believe you (possibly because your sibling had not learned to write yet)
  • Hang your siblings toys by the feet up over their bed at night and tell sibling the toys screamed all night and then NOT LET THEM BE CUT DOWN
  • Tell sibling your teddy bear needs an operation and take over half of their pocket money for year to pay for it.  Hrm again, you are pretty woke, this is a good example of teaching a small child how taxes and healthcare works.

So really, what I’m saying to those Bull headed Taurans who come to this page, you probably deserve whatever miserable life you have for tormenting your sibling.

 

Yearly Horoscope – Taurus