The Stanleigh Rose – a romance novel

A short break from poetry to announce that after 23 years of procrastination, editing, ignoring, and moments of frantic work, I have self-published the first manuscript I ever ‘completed’.  “The Stanleigh Rose”. You can get it here as an ebook.

What a journey.

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The Stanleigh Rose – a romance novel

The Hairshirt – a poem

A dark force plays with abandon tearing apart your soul; you cannot admit that

your legacy is blackened and unripe fruit. Treading on it yields neither wine nor juice;

Bottled up, it festers into logic and reason that must needs be denied.

Assumption of superiority helps sooth the waters of turbulent reason while

The bile and fear lap at your toes, calmed only by casting your eyes towards heaven

It is a test you must pass, denying qualms, signs and portents, extinguishing candles lighting the path

Your hair shirt, your denial of the senses; as you cook and then bite into the sadness which you feed

to your child who inherits the fear and the pain wrapped in a bright shell of promise

The Hairshirt – a poem

The Good Plates – a poem

(A tribute to someone who I no longer have to give a shit about)

The Good Plates

You own a “good” dinner set that you can’t allow yourself to use

You excuse and are obtuse as to why not, you are excessive

In the face of opposition.

Your position is that your mission is to keep it nice,

unbroken, unsullied, unused and so another set is purchased;

The second best set.

And these ones you allow to get wet, but you still expect reverence.

They’re delicate but not untouchable and still quite valuable

You calculate, and hesitate to even place these before

those undeserving and unnerving, who you don’t let yourself respect

Mostly they get to eat off the the third-best set.

The Good Plates – a poem

Yearly Horoscope – Sagittarius

So it’s half a dude, holding a projectile weapon, with the rest of him a horse. Which seems really odd to me, because that’s like a mounted Calvary. You should have your archers STATIONARY as they have the ability to PROJECT their weapons at the enemy, and then your CALVARY should charge in and ruin everyone by stomping on them. The weapon of the Sagittarius should be a pike, or a hammer, or something that it can gallop up to someone and smash them with and gallop off again.  It’s pointless combining the too. Not good design at all.

I dunno. Olden-days people made a lot of utter shit up, didn’t they.

Oooh predictions. Um, you’ll drop your bow and arrow if you have to go into battle but you will be able to give a lift to King Richard III and that might mean that Bosworth ends very differently.

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Yearly Horoscope – Sagittarius

Yearly Horoscope – Capricorn

Hah! Bet you didn’t expect this to be second last. Capricorns are often last and they are ok with that because it’s like when you have a plate full of dinner and you save the best mouthful for the end.

Like, the pork cracking (assuming it’s been cooked it well and it’s not chewy, that’s the worst, isn’t it?). Or, say, on a salad, if you have a chunk of feta cheese that you just wait and wait for and whammo, it’s last, and it almost makes up from the chore of having to eat boring salad!

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Yearly Horoscope – Capricorn

Yearly Horoscope – Scorpio

Scorpios look really good in leather face mask things. No, wait, that’s Scorpius, from Farscape. Have you seen Farscape? What a great show.

Scorpios are named for chitinous insects that snap at and bite you. I don’t know why if they have a star sign called Scorpio they don’t have one called Mosquito. That would be a great astrology sign to predict for. “You will continue to have no friends and be annoying and whiny well into the next year. And Beyond!”

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Yearly Horoscope – Scorpio

Yearly Horoscope – Libra

If I had to weigh things up, I’d say Librans were the most well balanced of the astrological signs.

….I made myself chuckle, and really, that’s what I’m here for. In fact often I am so caught up in my own cleverness that I totally forget what I’m on about. Oh yeah, astrological signs. Those things.

Um. Libra.

Well, for a start, you have a place named after you that is full of books, so probably means you’re all wise.

What? Oh, that’s a Library. Well that’s awkward.

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Yearly Horoscope – Libra

Yearly Horoscope – Virgo

Virgos are repressed and exacting. Sort of like Incels. Are all Incels Virgos? I’d ask them but I assume they’d just sneer and call me a Chad or a Stacey or possibly a normie. If you’re on this page and reading this, it should be quite obvious that I’m not a normie. But perhaps I don’t understand the terminology well enough.

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Yearly Horoscope – Virgo

Yearly Horoscope – Cancer

Cancers are crabs and so they are usually crabby. You can tell someone who is crabby by how they respond to normal everyday pleasantries.

For example, if you ask a Pisces if you can have one of their bits of uneaten bacon, they may reply, “It’s not unwanted, I’m saving it to last. I like bacon.” See how easy that was. Breakfast continues in peace, there is no loss of friendship. Everyone knows where they stand.

But if you ask a Cancerian the same question they are more likely to respond “Go away, you! This is my bacon! Get your own!”  And then they will shun you for two days and refer to you under their breath as a bacon thief. EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY TAKE THEIR BACON!

Cancers, you need to consider your life choices, and understand why you have no friends.

Yearly Horoscope – Cancer